Very strange day today!

I was working out at the gym, warming up with forearm exercises like wrist curls and reverse barbell curls. All the while my lack of deodorant (oh icky me...) and my ulcer were irritating me. I got really frustrated that I took a break from working out for a good 10 minutes or more.

During that time, a fearful thought came to my mind:

"The sad thing is that I'm living a double-life. In my real-life I'm a born-again Christian with a greater sense of love towards God and others, a steadfast purpose in my heart. Most importantly I've grown beyond my obsession with becoming super buff. I realize true satisfaction comes inside the heart, by staying righteous and most of all, receiving real love from good friends and family, not just idolatry."

"But does anyone online realize that? Certainly those I've spoken with on MSN know, but people only seeing my artwork here haven't got a clue. Heck there are still, still some people who watched me cause my scalesona is a muscular alligator. That's not necessarily bad, but sometimes I wonder about those people, why they watch me, if they even like the person I REALLY am."

"All those previous artworks and favorites that were usually about Aaron or some other muscle-mountain character showing off? They don't portray my current values anymore. Its true I used to be like that. But my encounter with the Colosseum, Sol Thundard, and the events regarding that society of artists has turned me around for a year and 2 months now."

"I'm seeing that I'm being a piss-poor witness to the Lord Jesus Christ. Sure I mention that I'm Christian but I only share a select few what God is teaching me by experience, at church, in His Word..."
"Gosh I feel really bad. Have I even changed at all? I remember this one friend of mine who met me back in 2006 or something. I had told her that I was a changed man and she said, 'Well you still seem the same to me, so I'll have to wait and see.'
(No offense to you if you read this, I only wished to record my inner-reaction)

"Well I've had it! I must do something to present everyone my new leaf, but how?"


MOOD: Determined